rraaannnttss + a few other things

I felt really heavy today. Like that heaviness and dreadfulness you feel when you're just unhappy. Like this foreboarding feeling that the future isn't going to be good. I really haven't felt that in a while. I've felt frustrated, dreadful about others, too busy, etc. but never... for lack of a better word, depressed, in a good bit.

It sorta came in waves, but it came. It used to happen a lot when I didn't know where my life was going. All those years of changing my plans, not knowing what I was doing or where I was going. That feeling was back for a bit. Like you don't know what's wrong and you can't fix it.

I also realized today how long it's been since I wrote in a journal or sketchbook. I always wrote in them though when I was itching to get out emotional drama. Go figures.

Even before I started realizing it, I think I was meant to do great things. I've had so much support, especially in forming my younger years, that I often never doubted myself. I was instilled with a sense of freedom and confidence that I could do anything.

I guess as soon as I started realizing this fortune, it started to dwindle away. As years go by I see my confidence fading, my opportunities harder to reach, and I wonder if I am strong enough to overcome the obstacles.

Now that I see obstacles in my path will I overcome them, or was I never really strong enough? Was I only able to achieve the things I've done because of the ease of it, the challenge without adversity.

I wonder if I grew up in a different family, if I would even be half of what I am today. I wonder if I would live to see a full life. I wonder right now what will come of me. Because I tasted what success is like, and if I can't continue with it I fear I won't want to continue it at all.

I hate where I am at sometimes. Utterly hate seeing things I do and think and encounter throughout these past few years. It's disheartening and disgusting seeing a body wasted, a life wasted, a life not lived. I'm disgusted seeing myself torn down by others and probably moreso myself.

And then that thought makes it start all over again...

Fun stuff!
Fun to make.
Fun to wear.

http://www.dancepartymassacre.com/blog/?p=2246

Get a look at what's been taking up much of my life.
http://www.dancepartymassacre.com/shop/

All shirts are $6-$17 with the discount.
Free S&H—Discount shows in cart.
Tell your friends please. Thanks!

Uuuuuuuuuggggghhhh.






I need to take a step back.

So I don't think I like where this is all heading...

It's been over a year!
My portfolio is back up.

Going through some older stuff too.
May be printing up some old tee designs again.
Going through some older work and reorging.

http://www.AlexDakoulas.com

I'm working on getting my portfolio website back up.
It hasn't been online in over a year and I feel like my life has been consumed by DPM and Converse.

I need to do other work, and that portal will be my own site again.
I am working on putting a blog there too.



We recently shot a promo video for the new Dance Party Massacre stuff.
You can watch it above.
I was in China the month of November for Converse.

I feel like I should be more successful and fruitful with all this stuff I've been doing.

http://www.dancepartymassacre.com/shop.htm

CHECK IT.

I still really hate stupid myspace clothing companies with their name spread across the front and latching onto every trend possible.


I think I'm gonna sell out.
I have bills to pay.
Money not to lose.